Dating Filter: What do I want?

I am a straight mid-30s man who recently exited the only relationship of my life after a few years. I have never had sex with or even kissed anyone else. Part of the reason it ended was because I want to experience dating a variety people before I get married. Now that I am trying to start dating again, how can I know what kind of dating/relationship I am looking for?

I know I am not looking for anonymous hookups, but I don’t want to get right back into a long-term relationship. I probably don’t want to marry the next person I date. I want to have sex, but not just sex. Maybe hookups where we really get to know each other first? Maybe casual or short-term dating? Maybe dating heading towards a long-term relationship, but taking it really slow and dating multiple people? Are there many women in my age range who would be up for any of those?

I am in the DC area, if that makes any difference.

In Bumble, I think the choices for “what are you looking for?” are “something casual”, “relationship”, “marriage”, or “I don’t know yet.” Which should I put? Are there many women my age who would even be open to “something casual” or “I don’t know yet”?

In OKCupid, I think the choices are “hookups”, “short-term dating”, “long-term dating”, and friends. I’m not totally sure what hookups or short-term dating would entail, as I have never done either.

How do I decide where I want?

posted by hijol to Human Relations (11 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite


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